Working mom guilt: Disintegrating internal peace in women

We all know how this guilt works. And it is universal for women, whether working or not to feel a certain way of guilt. The commonality that bridges the two in this guilt trip is only a fraction of the guilt, they derive it from their own self and major chunk comes from the society. Society’s old notions and beliefs prick you and push you in a downward spiral of guilt, self-doubt and disharmony. For working women, shouldering different responsibilities and roles along with the guilt that society throws becomes very difficult and leads to stress and anxiety.

How to handle/deal the guilt in career women is a question that has always been buzzing. With the rise of breakthroughs and advancement, this question doesn’t seem to go away but making its imposing presence even more felt. We spoke to our community to find answers. The discussion gave way to some revelations and spilled wave of emotions out of the moms’ hearts.

Mom guilt comes in various forms. The idea of new baby in house is exciting and moms constellate their entire energy in caring for the new baby and raising the baby by nurturing with good care and support. They become the vital ingredient in primary caregivers’ unit and they even shoulder the role of their better halves when the need arises. Out of these, some are working moms who have worked before the pregnancy and motherhood. These moms had a separate identity other than being a mom. When these moms go out or return to their work after maternity break or self-planned break, it is not taken lightly by the society.

Even moms tend to feel that they are doing a blasphemy by leaving their babies behind and carrying on with their professional life. Anger, outburst, self-doubt, feeling of incompetence or feeling as a failure; these emotions are the rippling effect of the guilt which is secretly lurking beneath the cover of these feelings. Either the guilt is sent their way by the society or carried by themselves by the age-old conditioning and beliefs. It also triggers anxiety and depression in many, nudging them to seek professional help to address their mental health. Let’s discuss on the ways to manage working mom guilt and letting go the perfectionism tag that we ourselves attach to the word ‘mom’.

Overcoming Working Mom Guilt: Know the ways

• Practice Self-Care – Self-care is very important to erase away the mom guilt. Dedicate some time with yourself or give yourself a me time. You can practice self-care in many ways. Go for a walk, listen to music, speak to your mom friends or just go out and buy a cup of coffee for yourself. Listen to your body and eat nutritious food to fuel your physical and mental energy.

• Do NOT take up More on the Plate than you can Chew – It is okay to take a break and shed the super mom hat. You don’t have to be perfect and keep yourself connected with your child’s affairs all the time. Delegate tasks among family members and say no to the tasks which you cannot fulfill or which will take more of your energy and time.

• Focus on ‘Quality over quantity’ – Spending quality time with your child tops over quantity or number of hours you are involved in their life. Do not worry about less time you get to spend with your child instead focus on being present and involved in the hours you get. Talk to your child, read books or do some engaging activity with them in those hours. This will strengthen the bond and remove the working mom guilt from your mind.

• Establish support from mom friends – Speak to mom friends and amass the people in your village to raise your children. Connect with them by joining Momly App or Momly Whatsapp group where you will find different moms who are at different stages. Engage with them and have an open communication with them. They act as perfect therapy to reduce working mom’s guilt as they can empathize with your situation and feelings.

• Be proud of yourself – Instead of having guilt in your head, try changing it with positive thoughts. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments as you are setting a great example for your children. They are seeing you juggle different responsibilities with hard work and passion. You are modeling an example of strong women and setting a trend for them to follow in your path in future.

• Prioritize your health – Mom guilt puts a strain on your physical as well as mental health. Do not give in to other’s opinions. Eat well, take care of your health, include exercise in your routine, and have a healthy relationship with your children and partner. This will negate all the negative and distressing opinions that come from outside world. And do not compare yourself with other moms. Do whatever floats your boat and pat yourself on your back for the world of comfort and difference that your bring to your family.

Connect with Momly

Join Momly App and Momly Whatsapp group to get in touch with mom friends. Reduce your anxiety and stress that comes with guilt by talking to other moms. Know from them different ways to overcome working mom’s guilt and challenges that women face while they are handling professional and household chores.